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Love and Essence

--December 1. One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)--

For this past year the word is Love. Because of Rob, my family, friends in my life, my condo and the beautiful nature around me every day. I feel I've been surrounded in love and have been exuding love and gratitude this entire year. It's the second year Rob and I have been together and although we don't live close to each other I don't feel the separation. With this emotional intimacy and the sheer comradery of our relationship my heart is healed. I bought a condo in Avon, CO that I remodeled and it's the first year that it's been finished. My father chose to celebrate his 75th birthday here and consequently a lot of family came out for that and we had a remarkable time having "Salon time" after suppers when we would "retire to the parlour" and entertain ourselves with poetry, music, sharing artwork, heartfelt discussion. They embraced this idea completely and with their presence I felt supported in the town I've chosen to root down in. I went to Berkeley, CA and was overwhelmed at how much I love those hills, the ocean, the foliage, the smells, the creativity, the ideas - I felt home, and an appreciation of where I come from. The four days with my family there were magical. Then my parents were again in CO for Thanksgiving and we spent a weekend with Rob's folks and it was all so good. I have a connection with my friends that also makes me feel at home - we share a sense of humor and perspective of things that is incredibly fulfilling. And then there is Sasha and Bandit, my dog and kitten who share my days and are awesome little creatures. So, Love is the word for 2010.

For this new year I would like the word Essence to capture it. To me the word Essence includes my higher self, my deeper self, my best qualities and most importantly, my ability, the Element that is unique to me. I read Sir Ken Robinson's book The Element which discusses this concept and so clearly explains what I believe - that creativity is a human resource we cannot afford to waste. We need all of our creativity to cope and shape the world we live in. I want to know and understand better what my Element is and use it in my life's work. I'm on that quest and if I think of Essence I believe it will help me make daily choices that will lead to these answers. I trust the universe will work in equal measure.

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With Gratitude

In September I committed to writing 750 words a day using 750words.com created by the inspired Buster Benson, introduced to me by the fantastic Gwen Bell. My writings would be private but the commitment was public, which would help me follow through. I knew that by simply writing every day I would learn something I couldn't expect; with excitement I anticipated the lessons.

The 750 words initially took shape as stories, then moved to lists, a self dialogue of what I wanted to accomplish, reflections, then stream of consciousness of some great thoughts (typed quickly to make the midnight deadline and often was typing as fast as I could - big surprise, I know). This fast and off the cuff writing was surprisingly insightful and reminded me of how fruitful my mind can be when I take time to record my thoughts. I'm still building off the nuggets and insights September offered.

Part of me is a skeptic and cringes at anything that appears to be too touchy-feely, fuzzy kittens excluded, which I've come to understand mainly stems from fear of vulnerability/exposure. But the universe is giving me so many signs that it's time to ignore any fear that I'd be a fool not to heed. Check it out:

1. Every December I like to privately reflect on the past year. Just as I'm thinking about this I come across Gwen's site Reverb10 where a daily question from various writers will prompt reflection. Buster had a hand in putting it together.

2. As I contemplate participating I come across Rob Brezny's freewillastrology that urges me to: "Express appreciation for something in (my) life that provides beauty and power, even as (I) also critique its downsides." Advice specifically for Cancer in the month of December. . . ahem.

3. Then my friend Solar Lab whom I love and respect shared Brene Brown's TED video which happens to be about getting beyond the universal fear of vulnerability and exposure in order to lead a wholehearted life. Watch it, it's worth it.

4. The last slide of Brene's presentation is a photo of my best friend from high school, Tracey Clark, with the words I am Enough across her chest.

5. And just to bring it full circle, Tracey virtually introduced me to Gwen and her awesome conference in Boulder two years ago.

So it appears that by participating in Reverb10 and writing at claddyjack again I am practicing gratitude and joy in the very moments I am questioning myself, as my friends Tracey and Solar both taught me independenly and without intending to.

The universe is mysterious and so personal at times. For this beautiful lesson and the ones I'm about to learn, I am grateful.

If you'd like to participate: www.reverb10.com or follow @reverb10 on Twitter.

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Home


Bedroom view
Originally uploaded by Claddyjack
This is the view from my new home, the bedroom window - woot! Today is a friend's birthday and I'm gonna get on that mountain this morning. Lately i've been on the computer so much that my neurons are hurting. Time to disconnect this morning.  ahhh, the ongoing balance.  Are you getting your nature fix?

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A wheel takes shape - Response to Chicks Who Click 09

you guys you guys.  ok.  so i've used this blog and other social media apps ( flickr, twitter beta and never used it, myspacefacebook) as a means of: 1. creative inspiration and sharing my creativity so i didn't keep it precious, b. connecting in a general way, and 3. challenging my boundaries (understanding why and what i wanted to publicly share and what i wanted to keep private).  i get excited about technology and am often one to jump into the sandbox.  as you can see on this blog, daily updates have never been a priority - last post was this summer?!  

i've known the power of social media, but after the Chicks Who Click conference in Boulder i have a better understanding of what tools to use for what purpose.  i met amazing women who are mapping and shaping social media and who know what questions to ask ourselves so that we play in a sandbox that gives us the highest amount of return - personally and ideally financially too.

i live in a beautiful but small mountain resort town and love it.  I just bought a place in Avon and am definitely invested.  but it's also challenging to fulfill ones potential in a small place.  you know how all the spokes on a wheel join in the middle?  that's what this weekend did for me: connected all my spokey ideas into a wheel.

so i've got some plans, a lot of work to do, and i hope you'll be part of it.  
it will be a process so will be sharing details soon.

hope you're all doing well!  I'll leave you with this info from Michelle Obama, in case you haven't heard about it yet.

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Spring!


Spring is finally here
Originally uploaded by Claddyjack
The sun is shining again in these here mountains and I, for one, am happy spring is finally here! Nothin like getting some good old vitamin D, wearing flip flops and sun dresses.

I kicked off spring (and goodbye to winter) again this year with Breck's Imperial Challenge, then rode the last day of the mountain with my Breck crew.  This weekend is a fine example of why I live way up here!

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Michelle Obama - Wow

Have you seen and heard Michelle Obama yet?  "It is politics as a game; it's a sport.  And what I get impatient with is politics as a game and a sport.  You know.  But that's the way it works. And one of the things that we try to do is stay focused on not doing that.  Because if you want to change it, you can't become a part of it.  You have to demand that people look beyond the gamesmanship, which i think folks did in South Carolina. . . it didn't work.  People did not respond to that tone of politics because I think we're at a point in time where people are tired of that, they're starting to see through it.  If we allow it in our politics then it's gonna happen in our day to day lives.  And I think that's why people are responding to the way Barack is approaching politics to say 'Look, I'm not gonna play those games.' "   
Smart, level-headed, and in this for the right reasons.
Passion and courage.
There's plenty more of her on youtube but these were my favorites.  She's fantastic.

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For Allan - September 2007

they talk at the coffee stop - once, twice, three times
he forgets her name but she doesn't know.
he repeats it in his head until he can't stop.
she's always smiling to see him.
they play with words a bit, then she leaves.

when the coffee shop turns to the neighborhood bar she stops by after work, late.
they do crosswords, talk backwards and forwards
he teaches her about onesies, twosies, and safety words which he says will keep her safe when
she's in trouble. she likes and needs them.

after her friend's wedding she meets him in her long dress late at night.
they stay at his house talking until dawn, laughter sprinkled with coyness and sideways glances.
she touches his hair when he tells a story. they fall asleep on his L-shape, leather sofa feet to feet.

she stays over two more nights that week - this time in his bedroom on top of the duvet and falls asleep with her clothes on, shoes off.
he is shy, she moves slowly and has poison ivy.
they've kissed once, maybe twice, but don't mention it.
they talk, laugh, tell stories. he sleepy talks and starts dreaming in the middle of his sentences.
she purrs.

they ride through the colorado mountains on his 76 honda motorcycle.
she holds on but not too tight. after fish tacos and beer they ride down the mountain and she is late to work.

they go to the driving range, dance at a crowded bar, throw disc and cartwheel on sunny, green fields, eat crepes at a bookstore, read sentences to each other, watch a Cassavetes movie, and Bill Maher's standup which depresses her because what he's saying is all true but she snaps out of it.

they drink expensive wine and play jenga with friends in borrowed houses and dress up in costume, they lay on a trampoline and watch a meteor shower, head to head.
they play bocchi ball and put put with friends, he dives and rolls on the trampoline that takes him 30 feet in the air.

he sleeps at her house and is allergiic to her dog until the claratin kicks in.
talking and more laughter and making out. candles and music set their languid tone.
they party at his house with their best friends - more jenga and good wine while they listen to LPs all scratchy beautiful. he makes a playlist on her ipod called listen to these songs.

look what you made me do
look what you made me think
look what you made me feel

this is how you fall in love

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whaa - whaaaaat! Holla


badasses
Originally uploaded by Claddyjack.
I give to you a couple of local badasses post Imperial Challenge in Breckenridge, CO. Allison, the graphic artist, gets inspiration from everything - she stops us during a backcountry ski to check out a twist in a tree that inspires a logo. Jaime does sofa swan dives in old prom dresses. that's just the beginning. no one was hurt during taking of this photo.

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morning sun


morning sun
Originally uploaded by Claddyjack.
we went on a hut trip last week - Koren and James of the eat!drink!dish family , (James on the sofa) and new friends Tara and John (John with son on the deck). It was a beautiful ski in, only about 3 miles from Vail Pass making it easy to go on a whim. It poured snow as we hiked in and was a beaming sunny day on the way out. Click on the photo to see more from the trip.

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Allison


great day with allison
Originally uploaded by Claddyjack.
A few weeks ago my friend Allison came over from Breck for some cross-country skiing on Saturday morning. She ended up staying the weekend and we had a blast - catching up over lunch, cross-countrying behind my house, a night out with Erika, then downhill at Vail on Sunday. You know when you just get another person? That's us. We don't see each other often but when we do, there's part of us that reflects a part of each other. She's nomadic and social and athletic and creative and takes time for herself. She has a strong inner voice and puts it above all else, so she can live and love with joy. It's inspiring and I am grateful for her.

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